Tapeworm

The Palm Reader

"Give me your palm", the fortune teller demanded as eerie music filled the room. "Oh, I see a great many things in your future".

"Yeah, yeah???", asked the eager, yet bemused consumer.

"I see....a beautiful house!"

"Oooh....."

"And a beautiful wife"

"Go on!"

"But wait....these are not your things....How...how did you get here?"

"Wait...what? I....I...."

"My GOD, What have you done???????"

"I don't like where this is headed...."

The palm reader fainted in her chair as the consumer fled her tent.

Three days later, the consumer was apprehended for the grisly murder of his brother's new wife on their wedding night.

Oh for fuck's sake.....

I already have to deal with those creepy-ass monkeys in the CAKE and Bruno Mars videos, and now you're giving me a creepy Planet of the Apes movie?

Thanks, 2011

Random Midnight DJ Of The Night Week 1

Facebook was being douchier than douchey last week, so last Sunday, I started posting a random video at midnight or so. It beats suicide.

Anyway, here's a wrap up of week one.



Ash-Girl From Mars

A 90s classic, staple of 120 Minutes wastchers beat up VHS tapes and hipster radio that likes a lot Euro stuff from the mid 90s alike.



E-Hello Cruel World

A pre-Eels, pre-beard E...well, does what he always does. Just by himself.



Foo Fighters-Fraternity

Amazing rocking Foo B side from the single for the song best known as that one song that has it's intro played in the Foo video from that Jim Carrey movie.



Local H-25 or 6 To 4

Local H have done other songs besides Bound For The Floor. Many quite excellent ones, in fact. Amazing covers too. Here's one now.



Land Of Talk-Swift Coin

Here's a band my good friend Anth introduced me to. He has some great taste in music, but keep in mind he's also in to Hanson and Katy Perry. But this one's a winner.



Elvis Costello and the Beastie Boys-Radio Radio

Elvis Costello and the Beastie Boys? Yes, please. I think I needed to change my pants the night this aired.



David Bowie-The Laughing Gnome

I've doth heard the legends, though I never actually heard this song until I got off my damn ass and searched it out yesterday. Personally, I don't know what his damn problem is. This shit is GOLD.

Life's small miracles

Opening up a new roll of toilet paper, and finding it has a "tell" where to start the roll. Instead of spending three freaking minutes with your pants down fumbling with the roll tearing strip after strip off until you even it out enough to where you find a good place to start the roll.

Am I right, people?

Another childhood nightmare from the folks at Mother

This is a Chimera. You run into all kinds of these dudes in Mother 3:





This is the Ultimate Chimera. He's a Godless killing machine who's supposed to scare the crap out of you, but he just ends up being adorable. Look at him! <3 <3 <3




You know who else is a horrifying abomination in the face of God and science?





The Wuzzles.

That's right kids....every time you kill a chimera in Mother 3, you're killing the Wuzzles. And the Gummi Bears. And Huey, Dewey, and Louie. And Darkwing Duck. And Talespin.....well they deserved it....who in the holy hell thought "It's Jungle Book....but they're in Planes for some reason" was a good idea?

If the Chimeras were Woozles instead of Wuzzles, I'd understand. Those Woozles are bad news.

OR ARE WE????????

We're still not safe from.....THE ALPOCALYPSE!!!!!!!!