The Vacuum

The Vacuum Cleaner is mocking me.
It knows secrets.
It needs to be punched.

An Ode to the Frozen Dinner

It is time to commence being food.
Awaken from your frozen state,
and fulfill your destiny.
Get in my stomach.

Bands

There's no such thing as a great band
Just a good band with a higher ratio of great songs to shitty songs.
Unless your band has one song.
And it's really fucking awesome.

My nose

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like without my nose.

For starters, I'd hear that "But how dos he smell? Terrible!" joke a lot more.

My emo cat

My cat is very emo.
She's always wearing black.
That probably has more to do with her being a black cat though.

The most emo thing I'll ever write

I cried today.
Just like I cried yesterday.
And the day before.
And which I most certainly will do tomorrow.