Aggressive Sandwich (Good name for a band)

OK, so I'm about to eat a Hot Pocket and the crisper sleeve says "Stop reading this and eat the sandwich already!"

OK....first of all, I have to cook you.  THEN I have to wait for you to take your sweet ass time to cool down so you don't burn my tongue (You aren't called Lukewarm Pockets).

I don't need this kind of attitude from a frozen snack.  I've got problems enough as it is without my food yelling at me.......