Only one thing could ever bring me out of Semi-Blog retirement

Be the envy of everyone in your creepy Doomsday Preppers cult with....the Batman Survival Kit!!!!!

Start things off right in the new world order with this selection of the finest molded blue plastic toys the early 80s had to offer!

And for your eventual bloody coup (You are planning to attempt a bloody coup aren't you?  If not, what kind of survivalist nut are you?), you'll be ready for battle with your knife and hatchet (Excuse me....Batchet.  Probably).

And you don't even have to wait for the next rapture or Mayan prophecy (Next rapture ETA later this decade, I believe).  You'll probably need to pack one of these bad boys at the premiere of the eventual reboot's first flick.

Let Bruce Wayne be your David Koresh!

Aggressive Sandwich (Good name for a band)

OK, so I'm about to eat a Hot Pocket and the crisper sleeve says "Stop reading this and eat the sandwich already!"

OK....first of all, I have to cook you.  THEN I have to wait for you to take your sweet ass time to cool down so you don't burn my tongue (You aren't called Lukewarm Pockets).

I don't need this kind of attitude from a frozen snack.  I've got problems enough as it is without my food yelling at me.......

I for one welcome our new chair overlords

Chicken, corn, green peppers, chili, onions...

I like Breaking Bad and all, but if that's New Mexico, how come I have not seen one Moonbeast or heard one stew recipe or coffeehouse folk band?

I built that

Had a dream last night that Paul Ryan kept bugging me while I was buying baseball cards.

You know, if I was more political minded instead of a snarky cynic, I'd say this is a metaphor for the economy or a woman's right to choose or whatever. Instead, I'm worried I'm being Inceptioned. By republicans.

I beat the system!

Me: What a rip! These Gummi Savers I bought don't have the holes punched out in the middle!

My brain: Quiet you! No holes mean more Gummi!

Me: Ohhhh! You is smart!

OK, now a serious take on Chick Fil A......

I'm remaining pretty neutral on this Chick Fil A thing.  On the one hand I support marriage equality, but on the other hand, I think it's ridiculous to worry about a company who's policies toward social issues like this have been known for years.  It's the KONY2012 of  chicken.

I have a very hard time taking the company seriously to begin with.  If you want to sell chicken for the Lord, hey, that's great....more power to ya.  I just don't get why you need to build a whole business around it.  I'm sure there are plenty of Christians working at KFC.  Are they going to Hell because Colonel Sanders was too much of a heathen to be trusted with your food?

Also, if you're going to war against bad PR, I'd think I'd want better soldiers than 3 failed presidential candidates and a failed vice presidential candidate, two of them who aren't even in politics anymore, 1 who's currently hated by leaders of her own party and....that Google guy.  Plus, I'd bet at least tow of these people never even ate at a Chick Fil A before two weeks ago (And that's not bashing them, it's statistically a reasonable possibility due to geography).