Tickets going fast!!!!

Get your tickets for an Evening With Mickey T. Gardener!!!!

The event takes place in my garage, and features an introduction by Mickey T. Gardener, followed by the man of the evening, Mickey T. Gardener!

Join me as I discuss my process (Hint: All my jokes are stolen from Welcome Back Kotter reruns), and other exciting tidbits related to my process.

Tickets are $350,000 (Cheap!) and include folding chair level seating, access to buffet of Swedish Fish and Hannaford root beer, and free parking by the basketball hoop.

People who pre-order their tickets using a credit card will recieve a "New England Patriots 19-0 2007 Champions" t-shirt.

Act now, or don't!

Mickey's exciting Academy Awards night wrap up!!!!

I went to sleep at 7, woke up at 11:30 and caught the rest of Def Leppard's Behind the Music Remastered. Damn, those guys just can't catch a break, can they?

Number of nominated movies I've seen: 0

The Envioromental Candidate

Someone please tell me how you can be an Environmental Candidate when blanketing a town with flyers that absolutely everyone will throw in the trash.

Ever hear of e-mail dude? And then I can blcok you?

Shut up, you whiny mail babies!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aw, Saturday delivery's costing us money, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! That god damn internet!


Look, fuckers...you know who delivers mail on Saturday? Twice!! That stupid pelican on Animal Crossing! In fact, he does it twice EVERY DAY, including SUNDAY! And he has a girlfriend! And he takes time at least once a week to stop and fratanize with the townspeople!

Are you saying a pelican is better than you? You make me sick

SEX

SEX

#Hashtag Wrapup

In which I occasionally use this neglected blog to waste a post reposting stuff I did on Twitter so this blog feels less neglected:


#foodsongs

Viva Velveeta

Juice Somebody

Gravy Shade of Winter

Bread Like a Bowl

Rockin' the Supper

For more: #foodsongs

#mathmovies

Sum Like it Hot

Calculator 3: Rise of the Adding Machines

Fatal Affraction

Stop Making Cents

Subtraction Jackson

For more: #mathmovies

Official Mickey's Next Deal Super Bowl Pick

I got sweet numbers this year, and last time the Colts were in, I won 200 bucks.

Prepare to eat it, bitches!