Mickey's astoundingly awesome not trivial at all movie trivia!

(ED note: This is a reprint of my entries for #movietrivia on Twitter. For more past Hot Twitter action, check Tork's Blog for my reprints of rock facts and Rock Facts: Beatles Edition Read on, True Believers!)

-The original title and setting for Casablanca was Ypsilanti

-Much like in the Far Side, Michael Moore is actually a bunch of ducks in a fat suit

-Not only is Tom Hanks not the "nicest guy in Hollywood", he's behind a string of unsolved murders in Vegas

-Somewhere, some Hollywood exec is wondering if Jim Carrey is interested in doing the big budget sequel, The Number 24

-George Lucas just doesn't like you, that's why.

-Jim Varney is America's most cherished film treasure. We just don't know it yet

The Epic Struggle

War.


Hunh.

What is it good for?

Of all the epic struggles we've seen over the centuries: the colonials vs. the British, the Middle East vs. itself, Yankees v Red Sox......none has proven to be more lgendary, more mind boggling, and more cute then:


CATS V VACUUM CLEANER


The latest horror story in this unwinnable war? My cat Br.....well, I should chamge the name to protect the innocent. Drak.





Cute. Loyal. And also so fucking stupid, you wonder how she's survived for 12 and a half years.

The vacuum? Well he doesn't have a name. But I'm gonna call him Jake. No, that's stupid. Forget I ever brought that up. Also I don't have a picture of him. Just picture any old vacuum. In fact, I didn't even need to post a picture of the cat...you could just picture any old cat too. But I went through that extra effort to make the picture with the black line through her face and uploading it, so you heartless bastards better not!

Anyway, today's tale takes place this morning. I was charged with vacuuming the living room. Our living room is huge.

Anyway, I'm vacuuming a part of the room and the plug falls out on the other side. As I go to plug it back in, Drak......ok you know what? That's stupid. I'm just gonna call her Brak. Not just because I've been calling her that for 12 and a half years, but because I say Drak, and it makes me think of vampires, which makes me think of Twilight, and then makes me want to punch someone. And part of my anger management is to avoid thinking of things that make me angry, so I'm just gonna call her Brak.

So I go to plug the vacuum back in. Brak, poking her head out hoping the horror is over, cautiously sneaks up to the vacuum and sniffs it. As you can imagine, just as this happens, I plug the vacuum back in and sure enough....

IT STARTS ON IT'S OWN! IT'S GAINED SENTIENCE!!!!!

Of course, Brak jumps a mile in the air (Amazing she didn't leave a hole in the ceiling), and upon landing, runs like hell to wherever she was hiding in the first place.

The moral of the story: To all those who think war is a good idea, consider the fate of Brakeford J. Cat, and remember....this could happen to you......


I close by presenting you with this video by Power Salad. It's a song that perfectly captures the horrors of war, much like Pokerface.